No Turning Back - Name Withheld - Testimony of how a lady came to Christ

Name Withheld- India
A powerful testimony of how a Brahmin lady came to Christ...

Early Life

I was born in a devout Hindu Brahmin family.  I had a deep interest in God and religion since childhood.  "Truth" meant a lot to me. If I heard anything contradicting, it would trouble me a lot until I found the facts and resolved the contradictions. If anything was true, I could just accept it. Fictions did not interest me much. I was more interested in religious or philosophical books. I used to like reading the Ramayana or Bhagwad Geeta to my grandmother.  Every vacation I would try and read religious or philosophical books written by Swami Vivekanand, Rabindranath Tagore and later J Krishnamurthy.

In one corner of my house, my parents had the pictures and idols of Hindu gods. My father lit an incense and a lamp before these every morning and evening and prayed. I too prayed before these gods every day and sometimes I used to get confused as to which god to pray to. I also had the habit of chanting some of the mantras that my parents had taught me, often during the day. However, I realized that whenever I was sad or upset about something, I could pray to God sincerely from my heart. But when everything was going well, it would only be a mechanical recitation of prayers. However much I tried, it did not seem to come from my heart.

The Deep Search

I had a close friend who was also very religious and we would talk about God and spiritualism often. One day we both agreed that there were many gods and goddesses but we will only seek the Most High God, the one and only Absolute TRUTH and the Ultimate Reality. I always felt there was more to life than just physical or material. But I did not know how to pursue spiritualism and know its truths and I always prayed to God that though I wanted to study well and build a good career (I loved studying and always did well in my exams) and perhaps would get married and have a family too, but my ultimate goal in life was salvation, but I did not know how to achieve it.

I heard about transcendental meditation once and went for it. I practiced it for sometime but did not seem to get anywhere. Time went by and I finished my studies, got married, found a good job and started working too. But deep down within me a flicker of a desire for salvation kept burning. I studied engineering & MBA and took up a job in an export oriented Information Technology company. As I was getting exposed to the world, I felt that I was going further away from God. I also realized that man had the potential to be good and also be equally bad. I thought one day, if I were to die will I be with God? And I knew I was far from God.

In Hinduism, people pursue self realization. Thus through practice of yoga and meditation arrive at a state in which one no longer identifies with one’s body but the spirit within. Depending on the progress of the individual in this practice, which may continue over many births, is finally expected to  culminate in the state of ‘Samadhi’ and the individual is considered to have merged with the universal consciousness and is considered to have achieved ‘Moksha’ or salvation. If salvation was all about realizing one’s own self with the help of a guru who was more advanced in the practice, I came to wonder about the existence of God. Did God really exist or was it just a concept or a state of being?

  

After completing my studies of engineering degree and an MBA, I got married and was working in an export oriented computer software development company. A new set of people joined the project I was working on and our manager introduced one of the members saying that he believed in God. I was intrigued and got talking with this person about his beliefs and experiences. And I found that this person’s faith seemed quite real. For every issue he would talk about praying to God about it and then would claim that God had heard his prayers and that his prayers will be answered and they would get answered.

After looking at the faith of my colleague, I one day decided to ‘believe’ in God’s existence and prayed to God that if HE did exist to help me find HIM one day. Within three months of joining the project, this colleague of mine was released and sent on another project abroad in answer to his prayers, while I continued in Mumbai. After few months, due to the stress at work I had a problem of hormonal imbalance and went for a residential yoga camp.  In this camp I learnt about the principles of yoga, its theory and practice, and thought that God was leading me to HIMSELF. So I resolved to practice everything that I had learnt, religiously, till I achieved the goal of my salvation and of knowing the ‘ABSOLUTE TRUTH’. So after returning from the camp I tried to put into practice everything that I had learnt, the physical exercises – the asanas, the breathing exercises and meditations called pranayamas and resolved to live by the principle of ‘karma yoga’ i.e. selfless service and observe the disciplines i.e. ‘yamas’ and ‘niyamas’ of truth and non-violence in my day to day life.

While I was practicing these yogic principles, I found a very positive effect on my body and mind, but it was a great struggle to practice the principles of selfless service and live a truthful life. It made me aware of my sinfulness and I almost concluded that it was impossible for a man to become morally pure by his own efforts.

While I was struggling with these things, my colleague returned from his project abroad. I started discussing with him my experiences. He would read out passages from the Bible in response to my queries and one thing that hit me the most was the second commandment God gave to Moses which said ‘Worship the Lord God and HIM only, for HE alone is worthy of our worship. Do not make any idols in any form and do not bow down before them as it is an abomination in the sight of God. Also do not worship any created things like Sun, Moon, Stars, Earth, water, birds or animals, but only the one and only Creator God.’ Now, among Hindus, even if one is not very religious, the least that one does is to bow down before idols at home or in the temples. It shook the very foundations of my beliefs and I felt as if the earth was being removed from under my feet. Hindus also believe that all religions are different paths leading to the same God and the same Truth. But I started wondering why the same God would command different human beings to practice contradictory things to please Him. I started wondering what the truth was and very ardently started seeking to know the truth about God and spiritualism. I started praying to the One and Only True Almighty Creator Most High Sovereign God, The God who personified love truth peace justice righteousness. And prayed to HIM to show me the way to HIMSELF.

I continued my practices of yoga but prayed to God that I was doing it not for any health, emotional or mental benefits but to know THE ABSOLUTE TRUTH. I was seeking to know GOD with all my heart, mind, soul and strength above everything else in my life. I was also reading books on meditation and mantras and spiritualism written by Hindu rishis and saints. While I was reading one such book, I found that the author was quoting Jesus Christ quite often. So I thought why not read the Bible itself and know first hand what Jesus had to say? So I started reading the Bible which my colleague had given me. He had suggested that I should read the gospel of John, so I started reading it. And every time I came across a concept that was different from what I had learnt as a Hindu, I would ask God to help me know what the truth was. And every time I found, either through some experience or through deep thinking, that I could not reject what the Bible said.

After I read John saying ‘Ask whatever you wish in my name and it shall be given to you’, I was standing in the balcony of my house musing about it and heard a cuckoo bird cooing. I started searching for the bird but could not locate it among the leaves of the tree and I had always only heard it, never seen it. So I wanted to put a hard fleece before God and prayed closing my eyes and asking Him if what the Bible said was really true, then to show me the cuckoo bird I was looking for and as soon as I opened my eyes, I saw the bird right in front of my eyes with its red mouth open, cooing away. I was amazed. God had heard my prayer so specifically that I could not reject what the Bible said!

I did question my husband about contradictions between religious beliefs and practices and he said it was because of the difference in place, cultures and times. And when I put this before God and sought HIS answer, God brought to my attention the contradictions between Jainism and Hinduism, though both had originated in India and were being practiced by Indians right now.  On certain special days when Hindus fast, they mainly eat only those vegetables that grow underground. However, devout Jains don’t eat vegetables grown underground at all. So who was really pleasing God? What was it that really came from God and which of these practices were rituals instituted by men? I desperately sought to know the truth.

The Encounter

As I continued reading the Bible, whatever I read, I felt as if it was happening right there before me. It was so alive. Jesus was alive and God’s presence was so real to me. And then one day as I was praying I just felt God saying, ‘Wait!’. As I was waiting on God, HE asked me if I was willing to receive Jesus in my heart as my Lord and Savior. I had read John 3:16, which said ‘God so loved the world that HE sent HIS only begotten Son to die for the sins of the world, so that whosoever believes in Him will have eternal life. But whosoever does not believe in Him is already condemned and shall die.’ And John  :  which says ‘Jesus is the Way, the Truth and the Life. No one can come to the Father except through Him.’ Though I still had many doubts and fears, I said to God that if what the Bible says is really true then ‘yes’ I am willing to receive Jesus in my heart. As soon as I said yes, I felt like a flash of lightening fall upon me and my heart was filled with love and joy. (It was the baptism of the Holy Spirit which I read about in the Bible later on). Jesus, when His time for crucifixion was near, had told his disciples that when He would go to the Father, his Father would not leave them as orphans but will send HIS Holy Spirit, The Spirit of Truth, who will guide the disciples into all truth and help them work out their salvation. And then in Acts at Pentecost, when the disciples had gathered together and were praying, there was a strong wind and the Holy Spirit descended on each of them as tongues of fire. Thereafter they found the Scriptures being opened before them and they received understanding about God’s salvation. They started preaching God’s word and performed miracles in Jesus name and thousands believed everyday and were saved.

After that experience, God’s presence was so real to me and I started talking with God inquiring every now and then about what was right and pleasing to HIM.  I have a real relationship with God for over 20 years and I am blessed to truly know the Living God.

Matthew 8:32 And you shall know the truth, and the Truth shall make you free.

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This was about more than 20 years ago.  This wonderful prayerful lady is still praying for her husband to know Christ, who is very strong in his own belief in Hinduism.   She is a firm believer and a strong prayer warrior and truly, there is no turning back with her.  She has stood every test and is a good mother and wife and faithful to God.
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