Into His Marvelous Light - Eswari Sekhar - Testimony

Eswari Sekhar

Early Days 

When I look back the person I was, before I met Jesus, sometimes I stand amazed at how God changed me and that gives me greater hope for what God has planned for my future.

My name is Eswari. I was born in a Hindu family and was extremely devout and religious right from early childhood. Being the eldest of four children, I shouldered responsibilities beyond my age from as far as I can remember. I learnt very early in my life that to get anything, you MUST be determined and strong willed. I carried that understanding into my marriage too and soon realized that neither of the two aforementioned so called virtues helped me as my life unfolded.  I moved to Bahrain after marriage and there was blessed with two lovely children. My elder daughter Lakshmi and son Manjunath. I was content with life and truly believed that my devotion to my idols and determination held my life steady. Soon, I and children moved to India for better education and career prospects for them.

My Call For Help

But slowly after a few years I felt great strife in my family trying to bring up two children with little or no help from their father. With time our problems both financial and personal grew to such a great extent that there were days I just wanted to end my life. I sat before my idols, fasting, many times because there was no money for food, asking them, imploring them to come through for me. The idols neither heard nor responded but I continued my devotion in hope. But later, my cries were heard by a God whom I didn’t know.

This happened in a very unexpected way.  One of my neighbors, Ranjini, a believer in Christ was witness to this turmoil in my home, largely because her daughter was a friend of my daughter.  Ranjini began sharing her faith with me and I ignored her words many times because I judged Christianity by the lives of Christians I had seen around. It was during this time, my daughter made a decision to leave home and embrace Islam. Things were terrible for me!

One day as Ranjini was praying for her neighbors and as she was praying, God clearly spoke to her to pray and share with me. She heard God say my name. “Go to Eswari” Not once but twice.  She was surprised, but she obeyed God and came home and told me to believe in the power of the Creator, the supernatural power of God to help me out of my struggles.  She did not say “Jesus.”  At that point, I was willing to try ANYTHING.  As I started attending the care cell, I began trusting this new God although I struggled to forego my devotion to my idols.

My New Life!

In 2000, I received Jesus as my personal Savior and obeyed God into baptism in 2001. All this with just a step of faith was the only way out of my problems.  In 2003 I finally decided to remove the idols from our home. A young boy who was a believer in Christ had just come to stay with us as he had received an engineering seat in Bangalore. The week later in our home, Manjunath and he started opening each picture of the idols to destroy them.  Then there came across a shocking discovery.  As they opened the picture of a Sai idol, they found witchcraft behind it, in form of objects, symbols and writings.  Witchcraft is commonly done to families to harm them and control them and can be even put into objects, the aim is literally to destroy a home and sometimes even cause death!  Often, even a friend can give a picture of object of something with black magic symbols and figures inserted within. If one does not know the Creator or have a spiritual walk with Christ, one can be prone to these attacks!

I was stunned beyond words thinking only one thing, “If this was a god, how can witchcraft thrive in its own picture???” "Does god need to do witchcraft?"  From that moment I decided to obey God with my whole heart and follow Jesus at any cost. My life was changed forever after this. Amidst much humiliation from my Hindu relatives, I proudly walked with the Bible under my arm. My God slowly began His work of transformation deep within me, which I now can see so clearly.

Wonderful Little Miracles!

I began to hunger and thirst for God. I was blessed to be a part of sister Prema Edwards Bible study and began worshiping with Ranjini at her church. In those days, we had very hard financial days.  One day in particular while feeling exceptionally burdened about my financial lows, I started imploring God to intervene. I did not even have money for the next meal at home!   As I closed my eyes, I had a dream where I saw sister Prema sitting next to me with an arm around my shoulder, saying in a man’s voice “Do not worry. I will feed you.”  I woke up, and went down to generally check on my tenant. I made it each month to pay the rent of the house, but somehow that money got over as soon as it reached my hands and I constantly struggled to make ends meet. As I casually met my tenant, she told me how she was trying to habituate her kids to eat normal rice instead of boiled rice, but was not able to do so. She wanted me to give away the rice to someone. She gave it to me, it was 10 kgs that we got that day!  It was a wonderful day of rejoicing just to know how personal and loving the Lord is and how He provided.  God had promised, God has fulfilled!

From that day on to this day I have never lacked any food or any need. Praise God!

As I grew more and more in love with Christ, I soon realized He is the Lord of all comforts. He may not always remove my burdens, but instead He takes them and bears them for me. In 2003, while in church, a young boy whom I have never seen before or since came up to me and said to me "God has laid it on my heart to tell you that this verse is a promise from God to you "Isaiah 41:10 “So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you. I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.”  After he told me that message from the Lord, this verse strengthened my Spirit and became a symbolic reminder that He is watching over my life even in the years to come. My son and I learnt the Word, prayed together, shared and grew in Christ together.

The Spirit of God urged me to forgive the relatives who had mocked me and even done more hurtful things to me in the past.  I took that step of obedience to go to the very homes I swore I would never enter ever and told them it was this God who had asked me to come and reconcile with them.  I know they were amazed to see this new me. They had to be as even I was amazed and struck in wonder at the new me!  Praise and glory to God.  He was changing me from within.

New Beginnings...

In 2005 my son told me he had fallen in love with a girl from his Bible study.  I was not prepared for this and I told him how I felt. But in time God spoke to me and helped me accept his love for this girl and gave him my blessing. However, informing my husband was the biggest challenge as he remained unapproachable throughout these times. In 2008, one day my future daughter-in-law received a call from Bahrain. It was my husband who had decided to speak to her apparently just to check to whom the unknown number on his cell phone belonged to. Over the course of a vague conversation, he blessed her and welcomed her to our family.  To this day, we do not know how or what prompted him to do this!  We know that God had heard our prayers. Soon after this call Manjunath spoke to him and he agreed to be present for the wedding.

As I fretted over marriage expenses and responsibilities to bear all alone, God showed me a wonderful dream one night.  He showed me a wedding card in that dream the card was for Manjunath’s wedding and had an Aramaic word right on top of the card which means “Wedding Director: God”. I felt greatly comforted as if the Lord was walking right with me.  On Dec 5th, one day before the wedding, my husband arrived from Bahrain. Even as I braced myself for strife and disputes, God true to the dream took us through the wedding in a peaceful manner. Our God walked ahead of us. On Dec 6th, 2008, our family grew by one. Manjunath took a loan for the wedding unknown to anyone but God knew and his first year bonus was exactly the same amount that he had borrowed! Praise God!

The year that followed helped me find a Bible study at Pastor Francis Richard’s home. God began convicting, cleansing and discipling me with His word. I also attended a 10-day teaching by Haggai Fellowship and a 9-day Healing and Deliverance School at Adonai Church. God through His word and Spirit began healing me of my deep buried hurts and bitterness. He gave me strength in my inner being. A strength that I found I needed to draw from in the years to come.

One afternoon, my daughter-in-law called me from work. She had a blood report in her hand that said she was 5 weeks pregnant. I was overjoyed. It had been about 3 years since the wedding and I felt very proud that my children had planned a well-timed family. What I did not know at the time was that a week ago she had severe pain in her abdomen and that was the reason she had gone to meet a doctor and was advised to get the blood test done. A scan on the same day revealed an ectopic pregnancy in the right fallopian tube. We were all devastated by the news. Both sides of the family rushed to the hospital and though things seemed under control, the doctor advised bed rest for her. Two weeks later we had to rush her to the Emergency Room as her tube had ruptured. She underwent right fallopian tube removal (salpingectomy) and God was gracious as no untoward effect on her health.

After a year and a half, my daughter-in -law again suspected pregnancy and the report confirmed the same. As she and my son went for the scan while thinking baby names, a lingering fear of what had happened in the past kept troubling her. As she was taken for the scan, her worst fears came to life as the radiologist couldn’t see any gestation in her womb. The whole day, at regular intervals the scanning was repeated with the same result. I waited anxiously by the phone at home, unable to eat or rest. Her parents were travelling at the time and all I could tell them was that I had no news yet. I could imagine their anxiety too.  At 10 pm I got a call from my son. It was another ectopic.  I strangely found incredible peace take hold of me.  I had come to know my God enough to say, “I trust You” even in the midst of this. But I was confused because God had given me assurance through His Word that this year my children shall be blessed with a child. I gave my cares on Him. The doctor advised against trying for a child and suggested IVF. They feared my daughter-in-law would not survive another such event. We put our trust in God and as a family went on our knees.

An Amazing Miracle!

Two months later on a routine check with the gynecologist, my daughter-in-law was advised a scan. My son accompanied her. Their cell phones were dead as not charged, so I was waiting at home for their return. As my daughter-in-law entered the house, her watery eyes said what she had not yet uttered. The scan showed “a single live gestation within her womb”. My darling grandchild had arrived. Praise God! She was born on Nov 29th 2014.

Eswari Sekhar, (left) Arpana (daughter in law) and Neshamah (grand daughter)

Words cannot describe the gratitude and joy I feel when I hold my now 15-month-old, grand daughter in my arms. We named her Neshamah which is Hebrew for “life giving breath of God”. 

The amazing miracle here is that my daughter-in-law had a right fallopian tube removal (salpingectomy), which means conception is virtually impossible!  The scans after her birth showed that the ovary on the right side had produced the egg that formed her.  Since my daughter-in-law's right fallopian tube had been removed, the wonder was that the tube from the left leaned over, picked up the egg and transported it to the womb! It is called “transperitoneal migration” a rarest of rare phenomenons,that even doctors marvel over!  We believe it was our God showing off!  Amen.

I Just Keep Trusting My Lord As I Walk Along...

Today, as we watch  Neshamah grow in leaps and bounds, we praise God.  At the same time, we continue to trust God for my own daughter is very deep into Islam, and my husband as well.

In the summer of 2015, my husband landed in India. He made it very clear that he had come as the head of the house and not as a father or husband. I struggled to face him but Ranjini my dear sister in the Lord said that God told her to tell me to “Accept him as he is.” A very challenging instruction but in child like obedience, I walked up to my husband’s room and tried to talk to him. He refused to speak and brought the whole house down in anger. We tried to keep Neshamah away from these emotional outbursts. The next day, he seemed to act as if nothing had happened. This was the beginning of days of apparent normalcy followed by days of anger, bitterness, and yelling at seemingly trivial issues. This went on for 6 gruesome weeks till he decided to head back to Bahrain. On that last night he refused to eat dinner. I took the plate to his room and I asked him again. He refused. I requested him to eat, but he asked me to “Get out and don't show me your face again!”. I obeyed. My son, daughter-in-law, grandchild, and I have moved out of that home. He is now in Bahrain. My daughter as I mentioned earlier is a practicing Muslim.

I do not know what the future holds for me but I know I will choose to obey God wherever He leads me.  This is my promise from God. Daniel 12:13  “As for you, go your way till the end. You will rest, and then at the end of the days you will rise to receive your allotted inheritance."

Eswari Sekhar 

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