This is an astounding powerful testimony of a lady who actually lost her life and how God brought her back, to give her a new life!
I grew in near the coastal town of Kanyakumari, in South
India. As children, we enjoyed going to
the beach, relished the sights of beautiful red-orange sunsets, collecting
seashells on the beach and building sandcastles. Later on, our family moved to Ooty, a town seated
in the Nilgiri Hills, Nilgiri means blue mountains and the name may have arisen
from the blue smoky haze given off by the thousands of eucalyptus trees forested
on the mountains.
These were happy family days. My dear loving parents were God-fearing, and
brought us children up in the fear of the Lord, we read our Bibles faithfully,
had daily family prayers and went to church regularly. All was wonderful and well. I used to sing in the church and even for
many public occasions, danced, painted, played the piano, and excelled in art
and craft so overall, my childhood was a very happy exciting one with wonderful
memories.
After standard 12, when I was 18 years old, due to my
father's business, we all moved to Hosur, in Tamil Nadu, which is situated at
the border of Bangalore. Hosur has a lovely cool climate but was a very quiet town. The first year in Hosur went well for me.
One day when I was in Hosur, I suddenly had a strange spell
where I was feeling as if I was fading out, and had a fit where I was very
dizzy and passed out.
People around me were puzzled and said, "Perhaps she
had a bad dream and that is affecting her!"
Others whispered around that perhaps I had seen an evil
spirit or an evil spirit was attacking me.
I too was surprised because something like that never happened to me before.
Another month rolled by, and then again, it happened again,
I got attacked by another fit!
Medically, it would be termed as a seizure or epilepsy. This time, I was 19 years old. This time, it was advised by all that it
would be better to go to Bangalore and find out what was wrong, so my parents
took me to the famous hospital in Bangalore called Nimhans, the National
Institute of Mental Health and Neuroscience.
Strangely enough, in Nimhans, they did not take any scan, but just took an
oral history and treated me with medicines.
Initially, I was 40 kg but after one year of treatment with medications,
my weight went up to 80 kg! I was
horrified at the great gain in weight.
Then again, something new happened, when I was 20 years old,
I contracted measles two times. On the second
attack of measles, I was suddenly swollen and shapeless from head to toe. I actually looked frightful at that time and
even strangers would look shocked when they saw me so my mother, in order to
protect me from getting more hurt by the reactions of others covered me with a black
dupatta (a stole for women) as people could not look at me. Everything in my life was monitored, my food
and I was under strict treatment with strong medicines. All these medicines had side effects on me I actually
started telling my mother to pray to Jesus and ask Him to kill me as He was not
healing me and death seemed the cold dark answer to my pain and suffering.
Slowly after 40 days, I recovered from the double measles attack and then got slapped with another serious illness – jaundice! In fact, I got jaundice twice and then after
recovering from that, got chickenpox! I
guess my immunity was so low that I was catching one illness after another. One whole year went by where I was on total bed
rest. My legs and calves and below the
knees were cracked and bleeding, and could I not walk. I was in excruciating pain all the time. When I was 21, I started to become a little bit
better and started walking but could not walk beyond 10 steps, or I would start
getting an intense burning.
Finally, a dear friend in Hosur, my closest friend, Pavithra
took me to a hospital in Hosur. There,
they did a blood draw and found out that my hemoglobin level was only 4 (normal
should be at least 10 and above). I had
a very serious blood anemia called sickle cell anemia.
Walking through all these dark clouds, my parents' faith and
trust in Jesus was not shaken, though I was battered and broken and was losing
the little string of hope I had left to hold on. My
sister, Jenilin Sujatha encouraged me too and kept telling me that I would get
well and whole again.
The doctors started to give me neurobion injection,(high
concentrate of B vitamins) but my body did not accept the injections, and after
the third injection, I could not even sit up.
My friend, Pavithra, then suggested it would be better to take me to Bangalore,
St. Marthas Hospital, another very good hospital in Bangalore. However, when I was taken there, the hospital
authorities did not accept me on admission initially as my hemoglobin was far
too low. Finally, I was admitted. I was given injections for the low blood
counts and some of the nurses used to cry on seeing my condition. Later, my blood
was rechecked and my hemoglobin level was now only 3! At this point, the doctors decided against
hope that I would live and advised my parents to take me back home and give me
whatever I want as they said "Her days are numbered, she does not have
many days left…"
From Death to Life!
In the midst of intense family prayer, I managed to receive
a 2nd unit of blood, without any problem, in fact my body accepted a full unit. All the doctors were happy, and the next day,
they went for a 3rd unit of blood.
On giving the injection of the 3rd unit of blood,
half a unit went inside and then it seemed I was not able to tolerate it. One of the nurses suddenly was shocked to see
that plasma water started to come out through the tube and in panic called the
doctors. When the doctors arrived, they
performed the vital signs and all the routine medical tests that confirmed that
I had died! I was no longer alive! It was a horrific time for all, as I was
still very young and many were in sorrow as they covered me with a white sheet about
to be wheeled away to the mortuary.
Dr. Santosh came back again suddenly said "I want to
try and revive her again!" It
surprised all in the hospital staff who were present as usually when one is
medically documented as dead after all the tests, revival is rarely
attempted. He prayed shortly and started
resuscitation and after about 3 minutes, I started to breathe, my vital signs
came back and I got my life back! This
was a wonderful miracle witnessed by the people present in the hospital.
After this, it was as if I got a new life, a second
life. Dr. Santosh wanted me to taper
down my seizure medicines. Initially,
after a year of treatment, my seizures were greatly controlled and I stopped
them. Now, I was back in Hosur and once
again, I started to get seizure attacks.
Once, if I did get an attack, it would take me 9 hours to get conscious
again!
Working and Again Illness Strikes
Dr. Ananth, a kind cheery doctor attended to me and his first
question to my parents was "I need to see her CT scan."
When my parents replied that a CT scan had never been done,
he was shocked and said, "How could they treat her so long without a
scan?" He immediately ordered a CT
scan and Dr. Ananth was stupefied to discover that in my brain, there were 22 areas
of calcification!
Dr. Ananth said to my parents, "There is a 99% she will
never be cured, but 1% that she may be cured.
Pray to your God that she will be cured and her bones will always be
very weak and her eyesight will be weak too.".
I overhead him saying that though no one knew that I heard
it and I was very discouraged and sunk into a well of depression and decided I
would commit suicide as I was not fit to live in this world. In that well of depression, I tried tablets
though I did not succeed in dying.
At that time, I was taking 19 tablets at a time for my
treatment. I began to feel I was a
burden to my father and mother. On one
occasion, I had been engaged to be married to a man and when the people around
heard about that engagement, they went to the man and his family and warned them
never to let him marry me as I was very sickly and also would never bear
children. After hearing this, the man
told broke off the engagement by saying, "I am sure God will give you
someone better."
Though I had not succeeded on my first attempt at suicide, I
was determined to try again. I told no
one of my plans. The next day Sunday, I
planned to kill myself with all the long list of medicines that I was taking,
planning to overdose on all of them together. That Sunday morning, the television was on and
a preacher was speaking. I never
believed in TV messages as I never found any of the wonderful things happening to me in
my own personal life as they claimed would happen.
An Amazing Intervention
That morning when I planned to commit suicide, Mohan C.
Lazarus was speaking on TV and he suddenly said something very strange out of
the blue on the TV. He suddenly seemed
to look straight at me and said very clearly and loudly "Dear sister,
suicide is not a final answer to your problem please change your mind, dear
sister, I am speaking to you, suicide is not the answer for your
problem!" He repeated it 3-4
times. I was amazed! Was he speaking to
me?! I then started to cry loudly in
shaking rasping sobs and my parents rushed in worried, asking me what had
happened.
When they heard how I had planned suicide that day and how I
heard the message on TV spoken by Mohan C. Lazarus imploring "me as it
seemed" not to commit suicide, they too cried, and assured me "You are
never a burden us, never think that… your life to us is life is precious
whether long or short."
That Sunday morning, we all went to church and amazingly,
the same message was preached by the pastor saying suicide was not the answer
to life's problems! God was speaking! With this, I was
greatly comforted and for the first time in my life, I felt the personal touch of
Jesus on my life and felt calm and peaceful inside.
I, however, decided never to marry, live with my parents and
work for Jesus.
By now, for every treatment, we used to go all the way to Chennai from Hosur, approximately 271 kilometers distance. We went to Chennai even for fevers, cold,
etc.! After 2-3 months, I wanted to reduce the tablets. Dr. Ananth said my weight
should come to 45-50 kg in order to reduce the tablets. Within 2 months, I surprisingly lost weight
and came down to 48 kg which even amazed the doctor, so he slowly reduced the
seizure tablets.
The Road of Rejection
I used to sing in the church and after 2-3 years, one day, a
particular family liked me and decided I would be good for their son in marriage
and the marriage actually was fixed. Then, a group of people approached the would be groom's family and gave them a report
of my illnesses and also emphasized that I could never give birth and my life
was short, and I may not even live long, so once again the marriage was cancelled!
It was the height of rejection for me. Deeply wounded, I retreated, but this time,
the Lord was with me, healing me from within and outside and as I continued
getting healing, my tablets reduced.
Once again, I made a firm resolve never to marry.
A New Pathway, A New Avenue, A New Life
Hosur
Hosur
One day, when I was singing in a program, a particular lady
liked me, and decided she thought it was wonderful if her son and I could get
married. Of course, I was not so open to
the idea, but this family seemed quite clear in their hearts about me and even
brought their pastor, who spoke also. My
parents told them about my illnesses, but my future mother-in-law was not
deterred and responded by saying "It is all in God's hands!" Her son was working as a teacher, Manasseh
William, who is a brilliant musician and singer. Once again, when the same band of people
heard about my engagement, they came again to speak against me to my would be in-laws to stop the
marriage, but God started lifting me up and He literally protected me from that barrage of attacks. By God's grace, the marriage was fixed.
At the time of my marriage, I was taking 50 mg of seizure
tablets, so I was advised by the doctor that for six months, I should not conceive. But the very next month after marriage, I
conceived surprisingly and without planning it.
I was badly frightened fearing harm to the baby in the womb. The doctor was calm and reassuring and said
to me "Do not be afraid and do not worry, it is your God's wish. Since your God has healed you so much, surely
He will take care of this too!"
With this comfort, I had a peaceful pregnancy. Then in the 7th month, I got
another fit attack. Once again, the people
around me again started saying "The baby will abnormal and never be okay,
she should have never conceived."
In that strong spirit of judgment from the people, I leaned
more on my Lord and got springs of strength from Him. Special scanning were performed again in
Chennai to see the baby. My sister also
strengthened me by saying "God cured you and He will perfect all that concerns
you!"
I was delighted to learn that the scan was normal and the baby was fine as seen in the scan. In the 9th month, I again got measles and once again in the school where I worked, the people said the baby will die.
It was during this time that both me and my husband got
stronger in our faith and walk with the Lord.
My parent's prayer support was a pillar of strength. At the time of delivery, the doctor said I
need to go through a c-section. That
dawn, I got pain and at 4:20, went to hospital as my membranes were
ruptured. I did not have too much pain, but
my husband was made to sit inside the operating theater to sign the forms
etc. In an atmosphere of deep powerful
prayer, at 6 a.m., I got some pain and was very drowsy.
All this happened before the doctor came to the hospital and by 7 a.m.,
I had a normal delivery with no pain at all, only a bit and delivered a
beautiful normal healthy bright baby girl.
Her name is Elvina Carlin. With
her delivery, all judgmental mouths were silenced! My daughter is now 9 years old! Healthy, active, wonderful and bright and a beacon of joy to us!
Now, today, I own a play school and at present, my husband and me
have received a call for full-time ministry.
We have stepped out on the waters with eyes of faith, not knowing what
will await, but we are seeing the hand of God doing wonderful and new things in
this new road, and experiencing and seeing God doing great miracles!
I wish to end with this verse, very personal and real to my
life:
Isaiah 55:8-13
8 For my thoughts are not your thoughts,
neither are your
ways my ways, declares the Lord.
9 For as the heavens are higher than the earth,
so are my ways
higher than your ways
and my thoughts
than your thoughts.
10 “For as the rain and the snow come down from heaven
and do not return
there but water the earth,
making it bring forth and sprout,
giving seed to the
sower and bread to the eater,
11 so shall my word be that goes out from my mouth;
it shall not return to me empty,
but it shall accomplish that which I purpose,
and shall succeed
in the thing for which I sent it.
12 “For you shall go out in joy
and be led forth
in peace;
the mountains and the hills before you
shall break forth
into singing,
and all the trees
of the field shall clap their hands.
13 Instead of the thorn shall come up the cypress;
instead of the
brier shall come up the myrtle;
and it shall make a name for the Lord,
an everlasting
sign that shall not be cut off.”
Emalet Benitha Manasseh
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