God's Touch Changes You Forever! - Testimony - Name Withheld

I grew up in an ungodly country and in an ungodly family.  God was far away those years. During those difficult days, I was abused and neglected and my life was full of pain and despair.  I cried myself to sleep all night many night and nobody cared.

I finally realized that I needed to get out of that house, and decided to study English and move to the USA. I thought that if I would become a model and be famous, then I would feel loved and be happy. I learned English every day diligently. 

I started become suicidal as I was beaten up all the time and called horrible names. In this season of physical and verbal abuse, I found I could take it no longer and found no reason to live. My life was hell on earth, and I felt it would be better to get out of it all.  One day, I found myself being propelled to standing on a tall building and ready to jump.  At that time, I seemed to sense someone pushing me away from the ledge of that tall building.  It was a strange sensation.  Today, I know this was an angel! 

The sadness, torment and misery never left.   I ran away from home at the age of 16 and slept on park benches.  Somehow, no harm came to me during those times of sleeping on park benches by the mercy of God.

My god mother who was an American Catholic became my foster parent. The woman was a mean drunk who hated me.  I soon started modeling and discovered it to be a big disappointment. I did not get the love I thought I was going to get and felt unloved and lonely.  As models, we were told to starve ourselves and encouraged to do drugs.  I became even more suicidal during that dark season.  I was still in high school.  During that time, I met a born-again believer named Isaac, he was on fire for God. Until then, I had met only fake Christian so initially, I did not believe anything he said or did, or his testimony.

Isaac was a very different kind of young man.  He kept praying for me and trying to be friend to me. He found out that I loved music and gave me many gospel tapes. I was tormented at night by demons and only gospel music helped me. I was surprised at the peace I got by the music because I really didn't understand what they were singing about!

As I had been a model for 2 years, one of the photographer's told me that I would have to sleep with everyone in the industry in order to keep being a model.  This spurred on deeper spells of suicide as I wanted to keep my virginity for my future husband, so in despair I decided to kill myself again with a full-fledged plan. Since Isaac was now my friend, I asked him indirectly to help me (with a secret plan to kill myself).  I had given him money and asked him to buy me a lot of cocaine lying to him that it would be for my 18th birthday party for friends.  But Isaac did not believe me and made me tell the truth. When he found out that I was going to kill myself on my birthday, he yelled at me and said that I don't need to do it. but that God told him that he would save me. I didn't understand what saved meant. However, it encouraged me that he cared enough to stop me.

He then bought me a ticket for a Christian concert for my birthday. It was Hezekiah Walker. His church friends picked me up and I was amazed at how nice they were. I was really touched during the concert. I felt the depression lift and I loved the preaching at the end of the concert. Shortly after this, I came to Isaac's church, got saved and filled with the Holy Spirit.

Since then, I have been blessed to serve the Lord with gladness for 22 years. God is good! 

Only God is the true  converter of a human soul.  No human can convert anyone.  It is God's Spirit to a human's spirit that converts