The Minister's Daughter

This story is based on a true incident!

Ministry Days

 Pastor Rai and his wife lived in the busy city.  They had an extensive crisis intervention ministry called Help a Call Away.  Many people in distress, suicidals, families breaking up, children on drugs and the depressed and broken-hearted could give a call and help would immediately be at their doorstep.  A counselor would start talking on the phone and encourage them to come over to the Help a Call Away Center if they were in a severe crisis and someone would take them in the center, a huge bungalow with a beautiful garden.  There were several rooms used for counseling in the bungalow plus counselors.  A cook resided in the bungalow, and made good food as well as made coffee and tea throughout the day.  Pastor Rai and Sarah believed that food and beverages would help them to de-stress, unwind and talk about their problems in well-aired pretty rooms.  Counselors as well as Pastor Rai and his wife Sarah would be available to counsel them and pray with them, and they even held Bible classes once a day, as the Word of God was healing to their souls.

Their parents were busy throughout the day, helping, counseling and putting broken lives back together and many, many families were helped by them, many teens broken pieces were mended and healed and Help a Call Away Ministry started becoming famous.

They had 2 daughters, Piyah and Sunaina.  Piyah was the elder, beautiful, vivacious and bright and Sunaina, the younger was pretty with a gentle personality.  

Sunaina was kind, gentle, very wise, clever and sharp and in a sweet way, over the years, learned how to get her way, through a great diplomatic skill without hurting or crossing swords with anyone. Over the years, people grew to adore Sunaina because not only was she sweet, and very wise whenever she spoke, but she was also very generous and shared and gave tiny pretty gifts to people. In contrast, over the years, she made Piyah look clumsy and a little stupid as Piyah's would shoot her mouth, with open-aired statements without tact.

The Conflict

 Pastor Rai and his wife Sarah had faithful workers.  One of them, Sunny did not get along with Piyah and one day, they had a tiff.  Sunny was afraid that Pastor Rai and his wife would fire him, but to his relief, Pastor Rai's wife Sarah later spoke with Sunny and told him, "This Piyah just does whatever she wants and says whatever comes to her mind, she deserves that quarrel you had with her, she needs to calm down!"

Sunny was relieved.  The next time it became easier to find himself in a tiff of words with Piyah.  He soon discovered that Pastor Rai and Sarah were finding Piyah "difficult to control" and would readily stand up for Sunny if he had a quarrel with Piyah, so he mercilessly set Piyah up in different situations, and then would report her "misdeeds" to her parents.  In retrospect, her parents would fly into a fury with Piyah.  Meantime, Sunny did not understand why he disliked Piyah so much and why he wanted her parents to thrash her verbally, but he knew the parents would listen to him over Piyah and he liked the way it made him feel.

The Doldrums

 Over the years, Piyah met a man, and they were about to be engaged.  Her parents were not very pleased with the young man. In time, the young man walked out of Piyah's life because he said her parents were impossible.  

Piyah had wanted to help in the ministry in Help a Call Away during her time of breakup, but parents informed her that the board of directors had some questions about her working there and it was not appropriate for her to be there because of some mistakes she had made that were questionable to her character.  Her parents told her they were helpless in the situation and could not allow her to work because the ministry had grown so large and they were dependent on the help of others.  They got entrapped by the enmeshment of their own ministry and were not free to do things in the spirit many times because as they said, "we have great accountability to the board members and others who invested their money in the ministry."

One Sunday afternoon after church, there was a big family fight and her mother told her to leave the house.

Her mother told her sharply, "You can look after yourself, go out and work, you are capable, go and get a job, this is not your home anyway, go, Piya, go!"

Piyah left the house not really knowing where she would go and what she would do, but someone from the ministry gave her a ticket and a little money to leave.  She ended up working in a large company in another city.  From then on, Piyah fell into series of relationships, one would break up and then she would get into another relationship.  She always needed to be in a relationship as it made her feel wanted and special while she was in it.  Deep down, she had craved that love from her parents.

In the meantime, back home, Sunny rose in power, shinning knight in armor next to her parents, their trusted confidante.  Sunaina was now happily married with children and she had moved out of the home.  The international network of friends of Pastor Rai and his wife Sarah were told that Piyah was a mess and she was no longer in ministry, working in secular companies, so she was cold-shouldered by many of them as well.

Piyah found herself trapped in a fiendish encircled web created by her family and their close associates, to keep her out of any Christian ministry, so she too started become distrustful of people and even a little self seeking in her relationships with friends because of her desperate needs. This was something she had never been before.  She lost many of her remaining friends because of this.

Her mother, Sarah would tell her friends in the Christian ministry   "What a state that girl has fallen into. I cannot believe that she has fallen so low, what a mess!" and they would give sympathetic clicks.  "What a terrible girl, what sin she is in" people would say sadly.

When she was met on the road, the Christian people snubbed her and eventually it came to the state that she was not welcome in Christian crowds.  She eventually left each city and settled in a small town.  She prayed to God, but her prayers were now more for survival and self centered all the time.  She had no capacity to think of anyone else anymore.

The Meeting

One cool October, Friday morning, a strange lady knocked on the door of Pastor Rai and Sarah.  A lady introduced herself at the door.  She wore a clean crisp green cotton sari.

"Good morning!" she said pleasantly, "My name is Ms. Madan"  I have come to meet you, I have been praying for you and your ministry for years, though I do not know anyone personally, but that was the burden God gave me."  Sarah politely asked her in and gave her a glass of chilled lemon juice.  In the crisis intervention ministry, they were used to all sorts of people even coming to their home, though they were always warned to be careful.

"I have a strong compulsion to tell you something, I feel it is my duty, I feel God is making me tell you" began Ms. Madan.  Wrong start unfortunately.  Sarah was usually and naturally wary of people with messages from God.  But the lady had burning brown eyes, and she looked somewhat pure hearted and sincere, so Sarah listened on.

"Your children are loaned to you by God, they are not yours, you have a responsibility to bring them and help them, even more than the others, God gave Piyah to you, she really needs help.  More so, you need to forgive her if she has slipped and done things wrong."

Sarah her mother snorted, "We love her and have forgiven her whenever she had fallen, and helped her time and time again, now I leave her up to God, in His hands, I can't do more than what I am doing!"

Ms. Madan continued, "You need to help her walk again, your own daughter, as you help people in Help a Call Away"

Sarah shook her head and closed her eyes and then stood up abruptly and said "Ms. Madan, today I have an important meeting, I am on my way out, so I will have to go, but thank you for telling me this message."

She coldly showed her out to the door, besides herself.  Noone ever told Sarah that she was wrong because she was perfect, an epitome of love, kindness and grace crowned with generosity.  Internationally, she was greatly loved by all the women.  Sarah could never go wrong, but ah, Piyah was a mess and this lady had the audacity to punch the blame on her?

Just before Ms. Madan stepped out she said, "You could have prayed for Piyah, and all would have fallen into place, but you drove out prayer from your ministry, your ministry is Good Works, unempowered by prayer!"

"Nonsense" snapped Sarah, "we pray much, we are a praying people"

Ms. Madan shook her head and said, "You don’t understand real prayer, with forgiveness cleaning your hearts, not only to Piyah but hundreds of others who have left your ministry, your unforgiving spirits have blocked your prayers and your self-righteousness has been your robes, not the blood-bought robes of Jesus."

"While each human is responsible for choices and actions and consequences of their actions, there is another side to this as well.  The Bible says, "Do good when it is in your hand to do so."  Many times, Help a Call Away had opportunities to help Piyah out, and help to establish  in some direction, but you helped her just a little but never helped her enough to stand up on her own.

The truth is she is not strong enough to make it on her own, so she is talking the help of strangers who are using her in bad ways.  It is a spiritual thing, like a demon opposing her, as if someone had sent something on her way to destroy her.  Seeds of unforgiveness brings a curse in a family.  Unforgiveness from the family is keeping her in greater bondage.  You did not protect her from people in the ministry and allowed them to verbally attack her and ill-treat her.  Other people took advantage of her because you did not openly stand with her.  They started to tear down a person who is already down making sure she would never rise again.  Forgiveness is a spiritual law, it sets us free and sets the unforgived person free, then only curses are broken.  In this case, unfortunately, most of the Christians just got judgmental and kept her out of the "club."

Sunaina who happened to be visiting home at that time came out of her bedroom and told her mother in front of Ms Madan, "Get this witch out of our house!"

Ms Madan shook her head and walked out and they shut the door sharply after her, trembling.

The Lamp in the Dark

Ms. Madan had a mission to do, she had to go and meet Piyah, who was presently living in Goa.  She knew Piyah needed help, someone to talk the truth to her soul.  She made her way to Goa, finding Piyah's address from Piyah's friend, Gina.  When Ms. Madan knocked on Piyah's door, Piyah was glad to meet Ms. Madan for the first time and shared many things over the few days they were together and had a delightful refreshing time together.  Piyah gleaned much from Ms. Madan's wisdom and was blessed.

Ms. Madan told Piyah, "God has better plans for you, where you will be greatly blessed and a greater blessing.  In Help a Call Away, you will always be a shadow serving a dream that was never really yours.  Let us pray today and ask God to open new doors in your life, but first, forgive your parents."

Piyah replied, "All this is strange and new to me, I do think I have already forgiven them, because I do love them, but let me think, if I did not really, may God show me."

The Ladder

 One night, Piyah could not sleep, she drew the curtains and looked out at the silver stars, they shone mysteriously against the black sky and Piyah wondered "Why is life such a mystery, why is God such a mystery?  How long will I go on like this, distrusted and mistrusted by all, unloved, un-cared for, and even slandered by many Christians?'  As Piyah wrestled all night with these thoughts, what she did not know was Ms. Madan was wrestling for her soul before God….As she did so, suddenly a light broke through Piyah's soul.

Suddenly she got an answer, first, she had to release all things, even Help a Call Away to God and not look back.  Then she had to release her parents in surrender, if they did not want to contact her, she decided she would praise God for the situation as it was because she trusted that God was in control, and He allowed it all to happen for a bigger plan and purpose.  With effort of her will, she started praising God for the situation as it was, she stopped pleading with God to change her situation and she praised God for her parents, as they were because God was in control of that too.  Next, she asked God to give her a vision of what He wanted her to do.  In the next few weeks, Piyah got a clear understanding that she needed to walk before the Lord always.  Her call was Being, not Doing. Being in the Presence of God where great things happen and enabling begins. Being where in Christ, she starts to be the person He created her to be in His original plan.  She had a great call on her life, that would set people free, but she was never to establish an organization, if she did it, the call would dry up, as it did with her parents.

After Ms. Madan left, Piyah got a job in management of the parish in the town. In the cool calming atmosphere of the parish, she found her thoughts clearing up.  She started constantly praising and praying, her life began to change, new people were connected to her and doors started to open.  Piyah prayed with people, and things started changing.

When people saw Piyah doing well, the people who had snubbed and mocked Piyah pretended that they never snubbed her acted as if nothing had happened in the past and tried to greet her warmly, because there was an evident blessing on her life.  God had given her what the cankerworm had stolen.  Jesus seemed to nudge Piyah, "Piyah, forgive them them as I have forgiven you."

She eventually got married to a strong, stable Christian man who loved her and stood with her, in the calling God put on her life and also had his only personal walk and calling.  They complimented and helped each other out.  They prayed with many broken people, helped in whatever ways they could, and their prayers were answered simply because they practiced the presence of God.

"Never make ministry an organization or the whole vision will change and always put your family before your ministry!"  The calling is being not doing!"  They learned more people were helped by simply reaching out in the power of prayer and hundreds of depressed found their joy in the Lord.

Piyah eventually had a little daughter and she vowed she would never do what her parents did to her.  She vowed never to "expose" her children to the other people in ministry during their tough times in order to garner more prayer and support, but in reality actually was shattering down the protective walls of the children's lives so cruel vultures could attack them ripping them apart while the poor children are down... and in the end, all that Christians did was judge their children, gossip and hardly pray for them at all.

In the early days in the Bible, Christians never started organizations, nor was it there in the Bible to start human-made ministries.  The recent trend of times has actually compromised the sharing of the gospel, as well as traded the power of Christ for organizations which though created to help, actually have brought workers in greater bondage to the chains of ministry, in the web of intrigue and conspiracy for some people who wanted greater gain.  Good-hearted ministers have been really unable to reach the broken hearted in a powerful way because it was with the arm of flesh and not with the liberating power of the Holy Spirit in Christ because they were enmeshed in ropes of rules created by man.

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This story is written because  I have really seen this happen to pastors' children.  People in ministry are so busy helping others or spending a lot of time with their friends, co-pastors, attending seminars and conferences that they forget their own children or become too harsh and judgmental on their children and actually this is a delusional of a self-righteousness spirit that binds the family in a curse, which is very hard to break.  Things keep going wrong, and in some cases, marriages split up and further damage happens, which is of course the big ball game for Satan.  The parents never realize how they harmed their children by not establishing them when or even praying battle prayers for them until they were delivered.  Unfortunately, many parents in ministry keep sharing with others about about their fallen children perhaps for sympathy gain which really causes their children more damage and pain because everyone is viewing them lowly, so it is very hard for ministry children to get up again.  The structure of ministries is more like a corporate organization, breeds more germs of harm rather than love and grace...to others.

Rita Farhat Kurian