The Minister's Daughter - Story based on a true incident

Based on a true incident!

Ministry Days

 Pastor Rai and his wife lived in a busy city.  They were the founders of an extensive crisis intervention ministry called Help a Call Away.  Many people in distress, suicidals, families breaking up, children on drugs and the depressed and broken-hearted could give a call and help would immediately be at their doorstep.  A counselor would start talking to the distressed on the phone and encourage them to come over to Help a Call Away Center.  If they were in a severe crisis, someone would take them to the Help a Call Away center.

Help a Call Away was a huge bungalow with a beautiful garden.  There were several rooms used for counseling in the bungalow plus counselors.  A cook resided in the bungalow, cooking good food as well as made coffee and tea throughout the day for the distressed.  Pastor Rai and Sarah believed that food and beverages helped distressed people to de-stress, unwind and talk about their problems in well-aired pretty rooms.  They even held Bible classes once a day, and helped the jobless by placing them in jobs through placements once they were better.

Pastor Rai and Sarah were busy throughout the day, helping, counseling and putting broken lives back together.  Help a Call Away Ministry soon started becoming famous.

Pastor Rai and Sarah had two daughters, Piyah and Sunaina.  Piyah was older, beautiful, vivacious and bright and Sunaina, the younger was pretty with a gentle personality.

While Sunaina was kind and gentle, she was also very wise, clever and sharp and in a sweet way over the years, she learned how to get her way through great diplomatic skills without hurting or crossing swords with anyone.  People grew to adore Sunaina as she was sweet, dropped pearls of wisdom whenever she spoke, and was also very generous and shared things easily giving tiny pretty gifts to people. Piyah on the other hand spoke her heart out and people did not like that very much, finding her tactless and clumsy. 

The Conflict

 Pastor Rai and his wife Sarah had faithful workers.  One of them, Sunny did not get along with Piyah and one day, they had a tiff.  Sunny was afraid that Pastor Rai and his wife would fire him, but to his great relief they did not.  Pastor Rai's wife Sarah later spoke with Sunny and told him, "This Piyah just does whatever she wants and says whatever comes to her mind, she deserves that quarrel you had with her, she needs to calm down and someone needs to put her in her place!"

Sunny was relieved.  The next time it became easier to find himself in a battle of words with Piyah without being afraid of getting fired.  He soon discovered that Pastor Rai and Sarah were finding Piyah "difficult to control" and would readily stand up for Sunny if he had a quarrel with Piyah, so he mercilessly set Piyah up in different situations, and then would report her "misdeeds" to her parents.  In retrospect, her parents would fly into a fury with Piyah.   Meantime, Sunny did not understand why he disliked Piyah so much and why he wanted her parents to thrash her verbally, but he knew the parents would listen to him over Piyah and he liked the way it made him feel.  Perhaps he was afraid that Piyah would override the ministry and if she did, he knew he would be nowhere, so he wanted to keep her down.

Very soon, the other people in the ministry caught this thread and often reported Piyah to her parents.  They were relieved to find especially Sarah constantly telling them to pray for Piyah because "she was getting out of hand." It made them feel better about themselves.

The Doldrums

 Over the years, Piyah met a man, and they were about to be engaged.  Her parents were not very pleased with the young man. In time, the young man walked out of Piyah's life because he said her parents were impossible.  Piyah was broken-hearted after the breakup and began to be afraid that she would never get married because her family was so complex and she too was becoming afraid of her own complexities.

On her road to healing from a broken heart, Piyah wanted to help in Help a Call Away as she wanted to serve in the ministry.

When her mother heard that, she shook her head and said, "Piyah, the board of directors have some questions about you, your relationship with that man was most unbecoming, and then you are always in a fight with Sunny.  We are afraid that it would not be appropriate for you to work in the ministry.  In fact, many people are saying your character is questionable."

Piyah looked at her mother with tears in her eyes and said, "Mom, I just want to do something for the Kingdom, whatever it be."

Her father, Pastor Rai who came in at that time said, "We are helpless in this situation.  The ministry had grown so large and we are dependent on the help of others, even our financial supporters, if they are not okay with you being in ministry, we are afraid there is nothing we can do."

Her parents were entrapped by the enmeshment of their own ministry and were not free to do things in the spirit.  They would say, "We have great accountability to the board members and others who invested their money in the ministry."

With that, the matter was closed.  Piyah was not allowed to help in the ministry.  They told her to take up her teacher's training and become a teacher.  Piyah was miserable with the idea.  She never wanted to be a teacher, but her parents felt it was best for her saying she would be a good teacher because she was lively and animated and the children would love her.

Piyah sadly started her teacher's training.  She finally finished her training.

One Sunday afternoon after church, there was a big family fight.  Piyah had said something that really upset her mother and her mother was furious.

Her mother yelled, "Get out of the house!  You are a smart girl, you will survive anywhere.  I do not want you to sit in my house and criticize what I do and make a mess of things.  You can look after yourself, go out and work, get a job as a teacher, you are capable, and this is not your home anyway.  Other children of your age have their own homes, and are married too, go, Piya, go!"

Sunaina was in the house and seconded her mother screaming "You always make trouble, go!" Sunaina no longer looked sweet and gentle and in fact looked quite ugly with her face contorted at that moment.

Piyah stared at her shocked, but deep in her heart, she always knew Sunaina had a conniving cunning streak and today she was only showing her true colors.

Piyah packed a small bag left the house, aware that Sunaina was watching her from the steps.  In deep pain of rejection not really knowing where she would go, she went to Help a Call Away.  Sunny came up and gloatingly gave her some money saying, "Here, your mother said to give this to you."

Piyah would normally not have taken it but she was so helpless that she took it silently.  She decided to leave the city, go to another city and stay with a relative for a season.  Her relative readily welcomed her for a short season, but it soon became clear that Piyah was not welcome to stay very long.

She ended up working in a large company in another city.  From then on, Piyah fell into series of relationships, one would break up and then she would get into another relationship.  She always needed to be in a relationship as it made her feel wanted and special while she was in it.  Deep down, she had craved that love from her parents.  None of her relationships ever worked, however.

Piyah did not do very well in her jobs as she did not really like the work, so she found herself losing her jobs very quickly.  This news travelled fast to her parent's through common friends.  Her father, Pastor Rai would sometimes wire money to her as her bank account was now known to them as they knew she was struggling financially.

A time came when they stopped sending money, saying, "This can't go on, she is old enough, she needs to hold on to her jobs!"

Sunaina would shudder and say to friends and people in the ministry, "My sister is a gone-case, she can't even hold a job, a disgrace, and right now she is in a relationship with a non-believer, I feel embarrassed to call her my sister!"

Another girl, Neena, piped in and said, "Why can't Help a Call Away help Piyah?  I mean, since you help others, you could also help her too!"

Sunaina ignored that comment.  She kept a safe distance from Neena from then on and told her mother, "Neena is slandering the ministry and speaks ill of us!"

In the meantime, back home, Sunny rose in power, a shinning knight in armor next to her parents, their trusted confidante.  Sunaina was now happily married with two children living in another part of the city.

When people asked where Piyah was, the national and international network of friends of Pastor Rai and his wife Sarah were told that Piyah was a mess and she was no longer in ministry, working in secular companies, and was in an ungodly relationship.

Noone ever verified whether it was true or not as everyone loved a good juicy morsel of gossip to gulp down.

Piyah was not even welcome to churches because many people knew her as the fallen daughter of Pastor Rai and Sarah.  On the streets and in churches and Christian circles, she was cold-shouldered by everyone.  Noone wanted to associate with a sordid girl.  The rumor even went around that Piyah was mentally unstable and no one even wanted to confirm if these rumors were true.

Her mother, Sarah would tell her friends in the Christian ministry, "What a state that girl has fallen into. I cannot believe that she has fallen so low, what a mess!" and they would give sympathetic clicks and say, "What a terrible girl, what sin she is in."

Piyah eventually left each city and settled in a small seaside town and worked as a receptionist in a local hotel.  She prayed to God, but her prayers were now more for survival and self centered all the time.  She had no capacity to think or pray for anyone anymore.

The Meeting

One cool October, Friday morning, a strange lady knocked on the door of Pastor Rai and Sarah.  A lady introduced herself at the door.  She wore a clean crisp green cotton sari.

"Good morning!" she said pleasantly, "My name is Ms. Madan"  I have come to meet you, I have been praying for you and your ministry for years, though I do not know anyone personally, but God gave me a burden."

 Sarah politely asked her in and gave her a glass of chilled lemon juice.  In the crisis intervention ministry, they were used to all sorts of people coming to their home, though they were always warned to be careful.

"I have a strong compulsion to tell you something, I feel it is my duty, I feel God is making me tell you" began Ms. Madan, wrong start unfortunately.  Sarah was usually and naturally wary of people with messages from God, but the lady had burning brown eyes, and she looked somewhat pure hearted and sincere, so Sarah listened on.

Mrs. Madan said, "Your children are loaned to you by God, they are not yours, you have a responsibility to bring them and help them, even more than the others, God gave Piyah to you, she really needs help.  More so, you need to forgive her if she has slipped and done things wrong."

Sarah stiffened, she did not like people telling her what to do and she snorted almost rudely, "You do not know anything and honestly, you don’t have the right to interfere in our personal lives.  However, let me tell you we love her and have forgiven her whenever she had fallen, and helped her time and time again, now I leave her up to God, in His hands, I can't do more than what I am doing!"

Ms. Madan continued, "You need to help her walk again, your own daughter, as you help people in Help a Call Away"

Sarah shook her head and closed her eyes and then stood up abruptly and said "Ms. Madan, today I have an important meeting, I am on my way out, so I will have to go, but thank you for telling me this message."

She coldly showed her out to the door, besides herself.  Noone ever told Sarah that she was wrong because she was perfect, an epitome of love, kindness and grace crowned with generosity.  Internationally, she was greatly loved by all the women.  Sarah could never go wrong."

Just before Ms. Madan stepped out she said, "You could have prayed for Piyah, and all would have fallen into place, but you drove out prayer from your ministry, your ministry is Good Works, not empowered by prayer!"

"Nonsense," snapped Sarah, "we pray much, we are a praying people"

Ms. Madan shook her head and said, "You don’t understand real prayer, with forgiveness cleaning your hearts, not only for Piyah but hundreds of others who have left your ministry, your unforgiving spirits have blocked your prayers and your self-righteousness has been your robes, not the blood-bought robes of Jesus.  While each human is responsible for choices,, actions and consequences of their actions, there is another side to this as well.  The Bible says, "Do good when it is in your hand to do so."  Many times, Help a Call Away had opportunities to help Piyah out, and help to establish her in some direction, but you helped her just a little but never helped her enough to stand up on her own.  The truth is she is not strong enough to make it on her own, so she is talking the help of strangers who are using her in bad ways.  It is a spiritual thing, like a demon opposing her, as if someone had sent something on her way to destroy her.  Seeds of unforgiveness brings a curse in a family.  Unforgiveness from the family is keeping her in greater bondage.  You did not protect her from people in the ministry and allowed them to verbally attack her and ill-treat her.  Other people took advantage of her because you did not openly stand with her.  They started to tear down a person who is already down making sure she would never rise again.  Forgiveness is a spiritual law, it sets us free and sets the unforgived person free, and then only curses are broken.  In this case, unfortunately, most of the Christians just got judgmental and kept her out of the "club."

Sunaina who happened to be visiting home at that time came out of her bedroom and told her mother in front of Ms Madan, "Get this witch out of our house!"

Ms Madan shook her head and walked out and they shut the door sharply after her, trembling.

The Lamp in the Dark

Ms. Madan was a strong lady and she was not deterred.  She had a mission to accomplish.  She had to go and meet Piyah, who was presently living in Goa.  She knew Piyah needed someone to talk truth to her soul.  She took Piyah's address from her only friend Gina who had her address.  Ms. Madan had done quite a bit of investigation to find Gina!

Now, she was on her way to Goa.  When Ms. Madan knocked on Piyah's door.  After Ms. Madan introduced herself, Piyah was glad she had come.  She shared many things over the few days they were together and had a delightful refreshing time together.  Piyah gleaned much from Ms. Madan's wisdom.

Ms. Madan told Piyah, "God has better plans for you, where you will be greatly blessed and a greater blessing.  In Help a Call Away, you will always be a shadow serving a dream that was never really yours.  Let us pray today and ask God to open new doors in your life, but first, forgive your parents."

Piyah replied, "All this is strange and new to me, I do think I have already forgiven them, because I do love them, but let me think, if I did not really, may God show me."

The Ladder

 A couple of nights later, Piyah could not sleep, she drew the curtains and looked out at the silver stars, they shone mysteriously against the black sky and Piyah wondered "Why is life such a mystery, why is God such a mystery?  How long will I go on like this, distrusted and mistrusted by all, unloved, un-cared for, and even slandered by many Christians?'  As Piyah wrestled all night with these thoughts, what she did not know was Ms. Madan was wrestling for her soul before God…. As she did so, suddenly a light broke through Piyah's soul.

Piyah she got an answer.  First, she had to release all things, even Help a Call Away to God and not look back.  Then she had to release her parents in surrender.  If they did not want to contact her, she decided she would praise God for the situation as it was because she trusted that God was in control, and He allowed it all to happen for a bigger plan and purpose.

With great effort of her will, she started praising God for the situation as it was, she stopped pleading with God to change her situation.  She praised God for her parents, as they were because God was in control of that too.

Next, she asked God to give her a vision of what He wanted her to do.  In the next few weeks, Piyah got a clear understanding that she needed to walk before the Lord always.  Her call was Being, not Doing. Being in the Presence of God where great things happen and enabling begins. In Christ, she started to be the person He created her to be in His original plan.  She had a great call on her life, that would set people free, but she was never to establish a ministry or organization.  If she did it, the call would dry up, as it did with her parents.

After Ms. Madan left, Piyah got a job in management of the parish in the town. In the cool calming atmosphere of the parish, she found her thoughts clearing up.  She started constantly praising and praying, her life began to change, she got new connections, and new doors started to open.  Piyah prayed with people, and things started changing.  Practicing the presence of God changed her life completely!

 

Soon the Christian circles saw Piyah doing well and the people who had snubbed and mocked Piyah pretended that they never snubbed her or derided her.  They acted as if nothing had happened in the past and greeted her warmly, If Piyah hesitated to smile back, Jesus seemed to nudge Piyah, "Piyah, forgive them as I have forgiven you."

When Piyah forgave them, God added riches and blessings to her life.

She eventually got married to a strong, stable man called Ken who loved her and stood with her, in the calling God put on her life and also had his only personal walk and calling.  They prayed with many broken people, helped in whatever ways they could, and their prayers were answered simply because they practiced the presence of God.

Later, Piyah had a daughter and she vowed she would never do what her parents did to her.  She vowed never to "expose" her child to the other people in ministry during their tough times in order to garner more prayer and support.

Piyah said, "In telling everyone to pray for your children when they go wrong is in reality exposing your children to people who do not pray for them.  You will shatter down the protective walls of the children's lives …in the end; all that people do is judge ministers' children, gossip and hardly pray for them at all."

In a couple of years, Pastor Rai and Sarah started to talk with Piyah and met up with her acting as if nothing was wrong.  They never mentioned once about throwing Piyah out of the house or bad naming her everywhere.  Sunaina also met Piyah and acted as if nothing had ever happened.  Piyah forgave them all as the Bible taught her.  Ms. Madan had become a close friend of Piyah and Ken.

Piyah lived by this principle "Never make ministry an organization or the whole vision will collapse and always put God and your family before your ministry.  Be occupied with the Caller and not the call!"  The calling is being and not doing, being in Christ, who makes all things happen!"

Sometimes, ministers' children are placed on a plateau of high expectations, which they may not be able to meet in some seasons in their life.   When they fail in the eyes of the people, they are judged so severely, which makes it very hard for them to get up again, unless of course God intervenes.    We should always remember to pray and intercede for those who are down, not judge them, so they may be able to rise again in victory.  God is also testing our hearts in how we treat them when they are down.

© Rita Farhat Kurian